mhm

I never update this thing. I really should. even if it's a small paragraph a day.

Christmas was good. Family (Aunt dee and ben, mom,....and my dad) and friends (amanda, josh, and travis) Slept in, opened gifts the night before. Maybe i'll upload pics from my new camera?

I'm tired right now so i type like this. I'm sure you don't mind.

2009 is on it's way. I'll be 18. I'll be graduating. I'll be off to basic training. I'll be off to college in NC.

Everything is changing and nothing seems like it'll be the same....is that scary? I think it is. I never really talk about it. But it is.

Kathleen Kelly,

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but circumscribed. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?

You see, i used to agree with that. and maybe I still do. Semi-girly girl, who has a good group of friends, and loves them all, does the unexpected. She takes control, joins the military, goes to college. Yes, this is what I want. But it feels like I'm going through the motions. I don't feel like I've done anything...like, out of the ordinary? I don't feel this zest for life right now. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my life. I have great friends, a great family, and a great plan. And I enjoy it everyday. But something seems....off. I don't know. I'm ranting now, as you can see. I really wanna make a difference in this world, I'm always seeking change. This year, i want to find it.

I guess what I'm saying is this. I'm most happy when I'm doing something. You know. Helping someone. Being there. Talking to my friends. Having a positive influence in some way shape or form. I'm not happy when I keep to myself. Maybe b/c it's b/c I've been on break. And I love break. And I've been hanging out with a lot of friends. But it's not the same. I guess I just need to get back into the swing of things.

Anyway, an "update" for posterity sake. I have joined the Ohio Army National Guard and I have been accepted to Gardner Webb U. I leave for BCT on June 9th. I gradguate from high school on June 6th. I'm going to LCC next semseter. I've made some new friends, many from the gamers guild. Others include, Melissa (met at the gamers guild, she's a friend of Kim from GBS), Michelle (from my econ class), Alex (friend of Michelle), Josh (travis' brother), Travis, Amanda (Joshes g/f), and last but not least, Emily.

A friend of travis, Tami, joined the guard. So that was cool. I'm kinda sick of typing all of a sudden, no real reason why. I think I'll add later, so yeah. good night yall', love ya, God bless,

~*Kayla Rose*~